Facebook and other Harbingers of the Apocalypse

Well.  I went and done it this time.  Next stop Harry Pooter and Kanye West.  Is he even hip anymore?  In a moment of existential angst I drank the proverbial Kool-Aid that is Facebook.  Something I have up until this point avoided and have even been known to chastise.  I have been for most of my life a techno-pop-culture-phobe.  Proudly.  Maybe I thought it set me apart.  Maybe my ego told me that I was on to something hipper.  Maybe, just maybe, back in the day, I thought chicks would dig my aggressively passive snobbery.  Don’t ask, don’t tell.

OK.  So it hasn’t been the worst thing to happen to me this week.  I begrudgingly somewhat perhaps maybe might enjoy the fact that I am back in contact with people I haven’t given much thought to for years and years.  Don’t know just how it happened.  Well, I do.  Too many cocktails combined with a longing for the comfort of the tribe.  There, I said it.  I wanted to belong to this phenomenon that has taken over the youth.  And the septuagenarian set.  And all manner of betweeners.

Exposition and explanation aside, it’s pretty cool.  Great for rekindling long lost friendship, great for networking, business and otherwise.  Also, just about the only way to contact friends and receive an answer the same day.  I’m a phone caller-cum-texter.  And I was late to the texting party.  For the first several years I had cellular technology (which I proudly held onto my ’99 technology ’til the bitter end of analog) I wasn’t even able to receive….what’s it called?  Texts is it?  Anywho, the last couple of years my texting has skyrocketed by virtue of ease of getting 160 letters in whatever order to a friend and receiving an answer.  Voicemail cannot boast such a record.  But Dammit!!! Now there’s this Facebook business.  I am not, as the kid’s said Pre-Facebook, LOL’ing much less LMFAO’ing!!!  A diatribe for another day, this abbreviation of the language of the Bard.  (Who incidentally I haven’t read.  My snobbery only goes so far….)

The week Post-Tejas:  No hate mail from the last post so I view this as a positive turn of events.  Lotta guns in Texas.  Rolled in to Nash-vegas to the beautiful Doubletree Downtown.  Nice digs.  My wife and I frequently comment upon the fact that we would never be staying in such luxurious digs were we footing the bill.  Indulged ourselves in The Melting Pot with some friends.  It happened to be 80′s night and if you dressed in said style, you got a certain percentage off of your bill.  Having left my hairspray and leg-warmers elsewhere, our waiter took pity on the fact that we have been doing an iconic 80′s show for four months.  Bless him.  We even got to hear three different “hits” from our play played on the AM dial.  There were no sharp objects in sight so our party made it through relatively unscathed. 

Then we went some other places.  

We played a tiny spot in a certain town in North Carolina.  We had “venue provided” accommodations at a national chain not known for luxury.  Whatever.  It’s a bed.  And most of a bathroom.  Upon “discovering” that (ahem) the toilet was clogged, I went down to the front desk to see what “we” could do about it.  The person on duty said, “one moment” and then disappeared into the back room.  Sweet! He’s gonna find the maintenance guy.  A bit discomfiting, but even Barbra Streisand poos.  Or has someone to do that particular function for her.  Our hero, not me this time, returns from the back room and presents me with a plunger.  5 star service for $19.99 a night!!!!

We took a vote and decided that, for the first time ever, we would drive overnight to our next gig.  It was awesome!  Most of us don’t go to sleep much before 2 a.m.  We would have had to be on the bus at 4:45 a.m. to make it to the net gig, so our bus driver (who is awesome in every way) pushed to allow us to travel overnight.  Bless him as well.  Got on the bus at 1, watched 2 episodes of the greatest show to ever grace television (The West Wing), slept for 8 peaceful hours, woke up at the next hotel, checked in, and had 6 hours until the next bus call to go to the venue.  Beautiful!!!  One hopes this sets a precedent for future hauls that are more than 500 miles. 

Our next jumping off point is beautiful Marion, Ohio.  Memorable in that members of our cast were seemingly possessed by the devil.  For reals yo.  After the show we had a nice lady approach our company manager with fire in her eyes.  Wait.  Some backstory.  Our show is not racy by any stretch comparatively or otherwise, but it does show some leg, has some cussin’, and has what I would consider in this day and age some PG-13 themes.  The part that I find interesting is what she chose to take offense to.  Was it that the lead girl is, shall we say, promiscuous?  Nope.  Was it that the lead guy hates his father for walking out and thereby does not honor him breaking the laws of God?  Or whoever?  Wrong again.  Ok!  I got it!  She was positively incensed by the Babylonian booty shaking taking place throughout the production.  Dang ya’ll!  That ain’t it neither!!!

No no no.  At the end of the show, the preacher and his wife (WIFE!!!!! They are MARRIED!!!!) dance and apparently her dirty, filthy, should-be-put-behind-bars-or-at-the-very-least-exiled-to-the-isle-of-forbidden-yet-life-given-body-parts breast touched the preacher’s arm!!!!  For Shame!!!!!  For Shame!!!!!!!!  This is not how a man of the cloth behaves publicly or otherwise.  Which begs the question:  How did their daughter come about being?  As far as I know, there was only one immaculate conception “recorded” in “history”.  Just sayin’.

At any rate, the Devil was inhabiting the preacher’s wife.  In the play.  Or as the actor.  That part remains unclear.  Needless to say, this delightfully forward-thinking, compassionate, forgiving, all accepting soldier for Christ promised to pray for the preacher and his wife.  The characters. Or the actors playing the part of the sinners.  It’s all very confusing to me.

~ by davejolley on April 15, 2009.